Walking in the House


3rd May 2016
After Two Fish Pass One Fish had reeled in a few passers-by, I drew another thought.

After frowning at this tee shirt, people often asked, “Which is the fish that‘s doing the following – I can‘t tell?" I was pleased when someone strode in to the stall and said, “It‘s that one.”


Many People Pass One Shop

2nd March 2016
My brother paid for me to go on Holiday with him to Thailand. I enjoyed it. I thought how nice it would be to have some money. My brother made his selling second-hand clothes from a couple of stalls in Afflex Palace, a big old ex-department store in Manchester. He said, “You could get a stall too, Ted. It‘s a licence to print money. Fill your shelves with any clobber you like and you‘ll be rich by the time the pubs open.” I wasn‘t sure: I had tried to make money before and hadn‘t – I‘ll tell you about it if I can stand being so mean to myself.
I took the train to London and my brother‘s advice exactly literally and spent all my small money on the cheapest most colourful clothes in the first half-dozen wholesalers I chanced upon. I still have some of them. I‘ll photograph and show them to you if I can stand being so mean to myself. I rented a stall on the top floor of Afflex Palace where rents were cheapest.
None of the other stall-holders on the top floor laughed at me because they were the sort of thin people that sold fashionable clothes on the top floor of Affleck‘s Palace, and also, I was a not-thin person who looked like he might not like being laughed at. I found out years later that as I had been laying out my wares many of them were taking turns to catwalk frozen-faced past my stall, and then, once they had gone around the corner, run into each other‘s changing rooms to giggle and pat each other on the back – not only to share a delicious sensation of superiority, but to help each other breathe.
After a while the Top Floor organised their mirth into a sweepstake. The winner of the pot would be the one who most accurately predicted the day on which my stall closed down. Three months was the longest bet. There were about thirty other stall holders and it was a couple of quid for a ticket.
I would have laughed at me too. Although Laughing Me might also have felt sorry for Selling-Nothing Me as I sold nothing for two weeks. Nothing. n0thing. If I had known about it, to make some money, I would have entered the sweepstake.
During the second week of sitting selling nothing I thought of how two fish might pass one fish. Two weeks later, not long after I put it out, I sold a tee shirt with Two Fish Passing One Fish on it.

Two Fish Pass One Fish
Two Fish Pass One Fish